I’m a fixer. Maybe it comes from being a firstborn. Maybe it comes from something else. But I have a tendency to want to fix anything and everything that seems out of place. Someone left a banana peel on the bus seat? I want to pick it up and throw it away. Someone is overwhelmed with a project at work? What part can I do for you?
While it might sound magnanimous for me to want to help people, it’s really not. Many times it deprives them of the opportunity to solve the problem themselves. Or it assumes that I know better than they do how to solve their problem.
Like many “habits” the first step is to notice we are doing it. The second is to decide to stop. In my case, I literally had to tell myself it was not my “problem” (as in, not my place to fix it). I had to restrain my habit of jumping in. Wait 5 seconds before responding. Ask more questions instead of giving advice. Ask for their ideas instead of suggesting a solution. Ask what they need before assuming I how to help.
This is a work in progress for me. But I’m trying to leave agency for the solution with person to whom it belongs.
Puzzle Pieces Coaching 